My Final Posting

It is here - this is the last day of my sabbatical! I deeply appreciate the opportunity to take in this year of reflection and growth. I have traveled many paths, and through it all I was committed to following my intuition. I promised to keep this blog through my sabbatical, and I am proud to say that I kept that commitment.

So the natural question is: What has changed? And more importantly, what's next?

• I certainly feel much more grounded and present in each and every moment. Now I read "A New Earth" and other similar works with much more insight and experience. I have also gotten a better sense of my ego, and as always this is a work in progress. I am working more from desire and less from proving myself. I am much more aware of my emotions and thinking, and how I feel in my body.
  
• I have improved many relationships, especially with my loving husband! I feel more in love with him than the day we married, and we both look forward to even more. Yay!
• I learned to play! I spent many hours swimming and floating in the ocean and riding my bike for hours. I felt free in my body for the first time in years.
  
• I have definitely done some inner healing work, with the support of others as well as a fair amount of self healing. I no longer feel like "swiss cheese" in my body, my energy and my emotions. My friend Pat Chapman did a lot of healing work with me especially in the first six months, using King Solomon healing techniques that have been handed down over the last 3000 years. She is a powerful healer and a very good friend, and has been very supportive in my journey. Thank you Pat! I also had some sessions with Joy Adler, another powerful healer that held a special place for my healing. Thanks Joy!
• I also had many in depth conversations with close friends - especially Gail, Chris, Pam, Jennifer, Brian, Leigh, Bobbi, Sue, and Kathy - and was contacted by many more that reached out to me with emails, phone calls, on the blog and through Facebook. Your love, support and encouragement sustained me and encouraged me to keep writing and sharing, to practice vulnerability in a way that honored me and others.
  
• I have committed myself to a healer's path for at least the next four years. As I was following my intuition, I started picking up books on energy and healing. I became a certified Quantum Touch practitioner, I received my Reiki Level II atunement, and I became an adept initiate in the Modern Mystery School (Pat initiated me). I have been volunteering at the local hospice organization and running energy with terminal patients. I have also been teaching "energy workshops" in my home for several months. I started the Barbara Brennan Healing Science program last week and already this is opening up the next level of growth for me. I am excited and energized with what continued expansion will bring into my life as well as deepen my ability to support others on their journey.
  
• I have also been integrating the healing work with my coaching practice. As I deepen my skills, I am discovering that other coaches are honing their intuition and insight with their clients. Healing work teaches me to focus my consciousness, hone my intention, tune into myself and the other person, and manage my energy in a very precise way to open the field for change to occur on many levels. Coaching is very similar, and uses conversation as the primary tool for shifting awareness along with awareness, intuition and intention. Being a healer will help me be a better coach. Being a coach helps me be a better healer.
• Prior to the sabbatical, I had taken several Global Relationship Center workshops, learning tools of self awareness and inner development. They taught me many tools that I used to deepen my development throughout my sabbatical. And, by following my intuition, many books crossed my path about energy, consciousness, quantum physics, spirituality, intuition, intention, purpose, and guidance. As it turns out, I will be learning about these topics in depth in the Barbara Brennan program. The last four years have been full of synchronicity!
  
• There were many other topic areas that I explored - adult development theory, shamanism, traditional spiritual disciplines, hypnotherapy and more. I "gave" myself permission to go anywhere my intention directed me. I traveled far and wide, and out of this exploration I could see a pattern very clearly emerging. There is a knowledge, a truth that is at the heart of all of these things. We are One. Love, Joy and Appreciation are the most powerful emotions we can experience, and all emotions are wonderful barometers for our awareness. We are happiest when we listen to the inner longing and stay present to our purpose in each thought, word and deed. This is the source of our power of creation. We are not alone - we have help available and it is up to us to use our free will to invite guidance in. To do this, we need to clear and connect, ask and allow.

So the question is - what is next? During this sabbatical, I asked that question every day and I intend to continue asking that question. I will keep listening to that deep inner longing and following this path. I do want to start coaching more clients and will focus my intention there.

We can support others, but ultimately we have to do our own "inner work". Originally, I opened my experience during my sabbatical because I wanted to encourage others to do their own inner work. I simply wanted to show others what that could look like. I hope you have enjoyed the ride! Thank you for following me over the last 12 months.

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

PS - I will keep blogging from time to time, at www.heart-warrior.blogspot.com.

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Aimee Mullins: How My Legs Give Me Super Powers

This is a great example of raising the level of intention and being able to see beyond to infinite possibilities. Through her playful attitude, Aimee shows us how "disabled" is not even part of her life. She has elevated her prosthetics to an art form. She is a great example of "asking and allowing" many gifts to flow into her life. As the song says, "if you want to change your life, change your mind".

Enjoy!

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Four Steps to Living With Purpose

In October of 2008, I started a one year sabbatical. I knew that it was something I needed to do, and yet, wasn't sure how to explain why. Here is what I wrote at the time:

1. My life "wasn't working any more", in that I was not able to sustain the same pace, interest, drive and wisdom that I enjoyed in the past; and
2. I am not precisely sure "what" it is that I am looking for. On a grand scale, I am looking for peace and serenity, a centered existence where I work from a new personal power that is true to myself. I am in transition to stretch to a new level of maturity that doesn't require me to do more, but rather be more."

I was committed to follow my intuition throughout this 12 month period, and I knew in my bones that this was an important step in my purpose. Throughout my sabbatical, I followed four steps to keep me on purpose and increase my commitment: Clear and Connect, Ask and Allow

Clear and Connect - We talk about four levels of energy: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. We are born into this world in a pure state, and as we learn and grow, we experience life and record those experiences in our memories and our bodies. In many of these experiences, we make emotional decisions - we label as "limiting beliefs" - of how the world operates. We carry the emotional memory in our body. "Because of the human tendency to perpetuate old emotion, almost everyone carries in his or her energy field an accumulation of old emotional pain, which I call 'the pain body'." (Eckert Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose pg 135).

Connecting simply means connecting to three things: yourself, others, and your greater purpose (which may include connecting to God), and is described as a "heart connection". The more that we are connected to our purpose, our real identity without the constraints of societal and cultural expectations, and connected on a heart level with others, the happier we are. The clearer our mental, emotional and physical bodies are, the easier it is to have access to these experiences. Not impossible, just easier. It means staying present in every moment. In many challenging situations, I ask myself, "who am I and what do I want to create right now?" Connecting to myself, others and my highest intention has provided me great wisdom and appreciation.

Ask and Allow - Bruce Wilkerson in his book "The Dream Giver" asks us to look in the corner of our heart where we keep our dreams. We often tuck away our dreams, which are really our purpose for being here. Many times our ego tricks us into sabotaging our dreams - "Do I even have a dream?" "Is mine good enough?" Sometimes, once we clear and connect, a funny thing happens. We find ourselves in a very empty space. We are so used to filling every moment with something that it can be very uncomfortable to be in this space. This is a good sign! We are letting go of the ego-driven "shoulds" that dictate our lives, and clearing a space to allow our dreams to find a place in our awareness.

At this point, we are open to tap into many wonderful, creative forces in our own life. I personally believe that there are many forces and resources that are available to us beyond what we can see, touch and feel. The more that we clear and connect, the more we can ask and allow this to flow into our life.

Because our senses are sharpened, we can ask to tap into vast energy sources that are within us and all around us. How many times have you walked into a room and the "room was alive" or "it felt heavy"? You are likely feeling the energy of the people in the room. Every culture talks about unseen, external sources are available to us. We call them God, spirit guides, guardian angels, ancestors, "Source", Mother Earth - the list is endless. These are all ways that we represent what we feel but do not know directly through our traditional five senses.

Presence, meditation and visualization are powerful ways to tap into these sources because they create alpha and theta brainwaves versus beta ("high" beta is associated with intense stress). This state is sometimes described as "synchronicity" and "flow" where your life just seems to "work". I recommend a book called "The Power of Flow: Practical Ways to Transform Your Life with Meaningful Coincidence" by Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom. It describes in depth many of the principles and ways to create "flow" and synchronicity in your life.

The final step - allowing - requires faith and commitment. The outcome of asking and allowing is known as the Law of Attraction and requires that we are 100% responsible for what we ask for. Ideally our requests are in alignment with our purpose, and keeps us connected to ourselves and others (in other words, does not bring harm). However, we must also be ready to accept and allow the answers, and not be attached to the outcome. There is a requirement of faith that what you have received in response to your request is in your highest good. It requires a commitment to shift your view from challenges and hurdles to a mindset of opportunities for growth and maturity.

I have lived in synchronicity and with this assumption of faith all of my life. In truth, I don't know how else to be. Throughout my life, things have not worked out the way that I wanted, and in hindsight I could always see how it worked out for the better. There were times that I was thankful I didn't get what I wanted! You could say that I color my perception in this, and you could be correct. And, my life is far happier because of this belief, especially after this sabbatical. The sabbatical was one giant step into the abyss, and for that I am deeply appreciative. That "personal power that is true to myself" that I mentioned earlier is part of my purpose. I know that I help people change their life every day. I am most successful when I consciously choose who I want to be in each and every moment.

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

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Crazy (Fun) Day at the Senior Center

Fridays have become my "Reiki" day. Today I went to support a senior health fair. I stayed in the moment, punted for the end zone and had a blast in the process!

In this fair, I agreed to conduct 15 minute Reiki sessions with people who signed up. I got there, and the woman who was coordinating the fair asked me if I wanted people to sit in a circle. Hmmm. This is different than what I expected. I asked her what she had in mind, and told her it would be just fine. Time to punt!

So instead of doing Reiki one on one with a series of residents, I gave them a very quick overview of Reiki. Not a single one had heard of Reiki, prana, chi, life force energy, etc. So, for about 10 minutes I explained the basics to 12 people to people in their 80s and 90s, of which 90% were very hard of hearing. They "got" the basics, and how naturally we do a lot of these things already. We talked about how we "pick up things" about people when we shake their hands, we sandwich our hands around an area that is in pain, and how it feels in our hearts when we care about another person (i.e., expanding the heart chakra).

I got them started, and I went around the room to give them individual attention. They did really well and understood the concept. It was so beautiful to watch this unfold. Within a very short time they were helping each other. Some could really "feel the heat" or tingling between their hands, and the person who was receiving the energy could feel it too. They were astonished that "anyone" could do this and asking how to learn this, and what classes could they take.

And, it was pretty crazy in the room. I was "competing" with a Mary Kay demonstration that was also underway. It was quite loud - not the peaceful, "om" kind of feeling we like to associate with massages and energy work, but energy is energy and it was working nonetheless!

One gent named Gordon was very astute - he had asked if I invoke God or Jesus to help with the healing. I told him that he gets an A+ and goes to the head of the class. He and his partner for this activity said prayers before they started and asked for help with the healing. I thought that was great intuition on their part. Another woman named Amy Rae has a real natural talent for this work. She was moving a lot of energy. I encouraged them all to keep practicing on each other.

I'm glad I did this session, and in fact, am delighted that it was a group event. It would be okay for me to work on them one on one, but I really loved the idea that they could be there for each other. Funny how things work out better than expected. I love it!

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

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Do You Want to be Their “Mom” or the Expert on the Topic?

This article was written by my friend Mark A. Miller Director for the Upgrade Center in Tallahassee FL.

The difference between being the "authority figure" and being the "authority" can greatly improve your communication with your customers while increasing your effectiveness as a leader.

While on paper, distinction between these two terms seems very subtle and what I have learned is that in practice they are worlds apart on how the listener perceives the helpfulness of your communication. It is based on the concept of separating the message from the messenger.

I can best illustrate the difference of the two, by example, in the past, when customers contacted our office, and ask about the current requirements for maintaining their professional license. What they would have most likely got, were statements like; you must have..., you cannot have more than..., you have to have them completed by no later than...

By using these types of statements verbally and in writing, I made myself the dictatorial authority figure by stating their requirements, like a stern parent, a strict teacher, or a mean principal. I made the requirements sound like they were my rules, to some members this would cause them to want to “push back” or rebel against the authority figure as they did in their childhood. (The need to push back against authority figures, for most of us, happens subconsciously, we are not aware that we are doing it). Sometimes the pushing back would be blatant, with them disagreeing or arguing with me about the requirements or it would be a lot more subtle, like a long silence and them saying, "Okay, thanks" and hanging up immediately. Looking back on these conversations, neither one of us was grateful for the exchange.

Of course, most of the conversations with my customers did not end this way, however I did notice that this would rarely happened, if ever, when I stopped responding to them as the authority figure and provided them the information as the authority or expert on the topic. Now when I respond by saying "Sure, I can read you what the current regulation (and state the source)”, when I continue with “Or, I would be happy to summarize it for you now, or I could e-mail it or fax it to you too. What would you like?"

After responding this way, I was far more effective in providing the requested information; first, by providing them with choices, they feel in control. Second, letting them know what the source the information, it separates the message (the information) from the messenger (me). This allows them to more easily hear and accept what they wanted to know, without making me the authority figure or the "strict parent" about what they have to do or else. Finally the benefit for both of us is, a more pleasant and respectful conversation in a much shorter amount of time.

By separating yourself from the information, you have the benefit of being detached from their response. Yes, being “detached” from your customer responses is a very good thing if it can serve them best by empowering them to be responsible for their own actions.

To learn more about The Upgrade Center and other resources that are available, see http://www.upgradecenter.org/

Thanks Mark!

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Living Without Blame, or Living The Dream?

I spent the most extraordinary weekend at an advanced weekend seminar called "Living Without Blame" which is offered by Global Relationship Centers (www.grc333.com). Part of the seminar dealt with defining blame and the reasons why we do blame. I was delighted to see that the session was much more than that. We also talked about our dreams and where we are on our journey.

I have gone through the exercise of defining my dreams before, and with mixed results. I have had my share of dreams in the past - getting married, earning my PhD, running my own business, becoming a Director of Organization Development - to name a few. I have succeeded and failed in many ways. As I have mentioned before in this blog, I always had a sense of a general direction of where I wanted to go.

In hindsight, I equated big goals with dreams. Goals are accomplishments, tangible outcomes and products of our focus and efforts, driven by real motivations. I am not undermining the importance or validity of goals. If we didn't have goals, quite frankly, a lot of stuff - big stuff - would not be realized! Goals - big and small - are important.

Dreams, however, are different. They feel different. In my own life, my goals were driven from my ego. I used them as ways to define me. Those of you who have been traveling this road with me know that I have made great strides on this sabbatical, and I use events and insights as useful landmarks to mark my progress and here is one. This weekend as I wrote out my dream, I was describing me. Really me. Not the titles that I could hold, the goals that I could accomplish, the friends could I have, a bigger home or things I could put on a resume. Instead, they were all statements of my being, how I am and want to express myself in this world. Pam Dunn, the seminar facilitator, kept asking us - "Are you the Dream AND the Dreamer?". To that, I answer a resounding yes! This feels so different and I love being here!

And, if we are truly the Dream and the Dreamer, we reduce our need to blame. If we are living our Dream and living life to the fullest, we don't focus on the things that we think are getting in our way. We will still encounter challenging obstacles, like the rocks and the ocean in the picture. Instead of blaming the rocks and the ocean for being in our way, they become tests that strengthen our resolve, our faith and commitment to our Dream.

Living our own Dream drives our behavior, our motivation, our love and permeates our whole existence. A Really Big Dream lifts up not only the Dreamer, but all who are around the Dreamer. Martin Luther King - like Nelson Mandela, Ghandi, Jesus - proclaimed that he had a Dream. He envisioned a way for he - and others - to be in this world, and we are all better for it. It wasn't a Really Big Goal. It was a Really Big Dream.

For me, it didn't take long for this "new found identity" to be tested. Very soon after the session ended, a part of my Dream was tested. It was also an important landmark for me. If this happened several years ago, I would have been angry for months, maybe years. Living Without Blame / Living Your Dream doesn't mean that I avoid anger, frustration, grief, shock or any other emotions that I may try to avoid or get stuck in. It means that I experience these emotions and understand that they provide important information and clues to where I am at on my Dream. I cycled through those emotions in 48 hours versus months. I am human and this is part of the human experience. And, I was able to center back on my Dream quickly.

Because, after all, the Dream is what I really, REALLY want!
And I bet you do, too.

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

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The Essence of Our Own Medicine

When we think of medicine, probably the first thing that comes to mind are doctors, nurses, hospitals and more broadly, health services. This institution does great work and improves the quality of life - as well as save lives - every day. They intervene in our lives often at critical times.

Earlier this week, I attended an evening session where the concept of medicine was discussed, but in a broader way in line with ancient traditions. I attended a class on shamanism. What appeals to me about this philosophy is the rich tradition of being connected to the earth and our own inner knowing, our intuition, our guidance. Some people go to a ball game to have fun, I attend classes in shamanism. :-)

Adam the shaman at one point started talking about medicine. It is believed that medicine is the "essence" in each and every thing, every person. We all carry our own personal medicine. The signs and symbols that we receive in synchronicity with our life experience carries medicine and are unique to us. Some people carry medicine bags with objects in them that carry their medicine, and purposefully honor the symbolism of what the objects represent. Most of us have a drawer or a box that we tuck away objects that have special meaning to us, or display them on a shelf as a way of honoring the meaning that they carry.

Adam went on to describe some of the objects in his medicine bag. Many (if not all) of the objects symbolized turning points in his life and were times of great learning. He carries the object because it reminds him of what it was like to make the transition. For those of us in the helping professions, we purposefully travel our own path of self development. It is inherent in our leadership to do this, to guide by going first. "How can you ask that which you will not do?" It is also important for us to remember what it felt like "before" because it enhances our compassion for others who are on their path.

I was talking with my coach this morning and described the concept of the medicine bag. We started to talk about what objects I would put in my medicine bag to remind me of this sabbatical. I have had many wonderful turning points. Here are a few "things" that came to mind quickly:

• The book that helped me to embrace my shadow.
• The Refreshing Relationships weekend that my husband and I spent in Encinitas CA where we reaffirmed our marriage and deepened our love for each other.
• The teddy bear that I carried around for a week which helped me to open my heart even more.
• The day that I became an adept initiate in the Modern Mystery School, because on that day I was truly in the right place at the right time. There was no other place for me to be that day.
• My intuition and guidance that was with me as this process unfolded for me.
  
• This blog because it symbolizes my voice and my desire to share my experience with you in the hopes that it encourages you on your own journey. It is for you that I write.
  

There are other things that I can put in there, and yet I also want to be judicious about it too. It is not about quantity, it is about the deep lessons and turning points that they symbolize. There were many small and important steps that I took in between to create each transition. Transition points are often experiences that can create fear because it is in that moment that we step into the void, the unknown experience. The medicine the objects represent are our moments of greatest courage.

And for that, I am eternally grateful. With much love and appreciation for all that life is and shall be

Mj
XOXO

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Smooth, So Smooth

I haven't written much in the last few months, partly because it has been summer time and well, the ocean has been calling my name (this is a photo I took.) Lots of family visits and then lots of visits with friends including a week long "stay-cation" (stay at home vacation). My new way to meditate is on the back of a bike or floating in the ocean.

I still feel like I am at a turning point, of which I am not sure. A few months ago, I embraced my shadow and I could feel the change in my body, my emotions and in my thinking. It truly was a point of transformation for me on a scale that I have never experienced before.

Since then, I have been focusing much more on my energy. I have become much more aware of how I feel in my body and whether I am in integrity or not. It has become uncomfortable to not be 100% in integrity, if I am whole (or not) in my relationships. I used to feel like I had a chip on my shoulder a lot, an edge that was underneath. Chip gone!

My husband and I have changed together, for the better. Especially in the last few weeks we both have become much more aware of our relationship and those "sticking points" and we shift in the moment. It is not avoidance, per se (i.e., "oh, don't go there"), it is more about wanting more from our relationship and actively creating what we want.

I also feel like it is much less about doing and much more about being. I guess this goes along with the comments on energy. I am more cognizant about "who am I" in the moment. My timeframe has also expanded. I consciously step back and take a broader view across my life, across other perspectives and can see when I am getting myself "stuck" in the emotion of the moment and in a narrow frame of mind.

It has also become even easier to "process" myself, to observe my reactions and to be able to dig into what is going on for me in terms of my beliefs, assumptions, challenges, etc. I can hear feedback much easier and take it less personally. I am much more engaged with others and joyful with others!

I did many of these things before, but now it is 10x, if not 100x! Life is smooth, with very little resistance. It is amazing what life is like on this side. It is hard to describe if you are not "here". I still have challenges, but now it is easier to flow through them rather than fight them. I occasionally wonder if I will "go back"when I go back to work, to the daily stress that are normal in daily life. I have constructed a life here that is a wonderful space for me to experience this serenity. I feel like I am "boring" - just happy, happy, happy!

I am now 10 months into this sabbatical and could never have "prescribed" or created goals for all that has happened for me. It has exceeded my expectations in so many ways! I set one goal - to trust my intuition and guidance throughout this process, and for that I am very grateful!

So what is next? Following my intuition is now a way of life for me. I know that I am on a path and that will continue. I actually was motivated to do some work yesterday! I have had zero motivation to do any work during this sabbatical. My motivation to work is a good sign. I knew this would not last forever, and yet until yesterday I kept feeling like "I'm not through yet".

I took the Myers Briggs test on Facebook today, and got the same score that I did before - INFP, which stands for Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceptive.

Hmmm - ya think?

With so much love and gratitude for this opportunity of a lifetime!

Mj XOXO

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The Spiritual Path

I feel like I am at a transition point in this sabbatical. I am not sure exactly what is transitioning, but it is feeling like I am ready to move to a different level. I have been using this blog to open up my own personal logic for others, and have gotten feedback that it is "too much" for me to share. Honestly, it hasn't always been easy to write some of these posts. I have felt very vulnerable at times. And yet, I still wrote in the hopes of inspiring you to have the courage to look within.

What I have been trying to say through this blog and nine months is that we are human and in our human experience we embrace all of who we are. I have spent much of my life covering up and was fearful to look within, and I can see in hindsight that it took enormous energy to do this. No wonder I was tired all the time!

Others have been trying to help me see what it means to embrace myself fully for several years, and now I see it. We all ultimately have to discover things for ourselves in our own unique experience. And yet, we do have people all around us who can reach out and support us in our discovery, as we reach for others to assist them in their discovery. This is one of the ways that I offer assistance to you, by describing my own path.

I am reading "The Undefended Self: Living the Pathwork" by Susan Thesenga as part of my reading for the Barbara Brennan program. I would like to share some excerpts (pages 30-34).

The spiritual path requires that we explore the personal dualities which become manifest in childhood and are carried over into adulthood. We need to unravel and reverse the process by which we have become alienated from ourselves and our environment. We make the journey from the limited identify of our idealized self-image back to the expansiveness of our real self.

Each time we meet and embrace a hidden part of ourselves -- something that was rejecting in childhood as unacceptable or bad -- we create more inner unity. We become more alive by awakening from our numbness and self-rejection...

From our normal ego experience we see life in terms of opposites, one of which we deem desireable and the other undesireable. We consistently try to enhance the one and move away from the other... This place of the unity of opposites can only be discovered when we no longer defend against experiencing the rejected "half" of the experience, when we can allow into consciousness and even embrace the bad/dark/painful places within us...

Every time we relax into the feared or denied part of ourselves we go through a kind of "death" -- of our idealized self image, or who we thought we were -- which leads us to a new, deeper level of inner life... We come to unity through accepting our dualities.

Thus, following a spiritual path is not just seeking experiences of union. It is also about getting to know all those negative fragments of self that have been split off from unitive consciousness. This requires our commitment to self-purification, to becoming aware of our flaws and limitations... The job of transformation is to keep choosing to incarnate more and more of ourselves, to expand what it means to be human, to release our flaws at their origin... All human beings, however evolved, have human flaws. The undeveloped aspects are brought into incarnation for purification and our spiritual task is to focus specifically on these faults in order to transform and integrate them. Our dreams often reveal where our paths must focus next... The dream calls on the dreamer to build his nest high in his inner sanctuary...

There is nothing so dark within the human psyche that it cannot be transformed if brought to the light of awareness. Negativity that is met within the self can be embraced, forgiven, and released... Every fault acknowledged, every defense dismantled, and every pain felt and released, gives us powerful new reserves of thought and feeling for creating our lives in positive new directions.

Amen!

I love you all so very much, and support you in your journey as well.

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

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Do What You Love

I am a firm believer that a book will find us. My friend Cameron Thompson sent me a happy new year email and gave me Marsha Sinetar's contact information (the author of "Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow") and encouraged me to reach out to her. I did not. I didn't know what to say, quite frankly. I hadn't read the book, nor even gone to the local library or bookstore to find it. During our visit with cousin Julie, this book was on the shelf and "found" me. Okay, it is time.

I mention this because I know that many of my friends who read this blog have reached out to me and expressed their support of my journey (thank you!) but some also expressed their secret desire to break out. What surprised me about this book is the amount of psychological information of how we confine ourselves, and Marsha does a great job of describing how to get out.

Marsha talks about the parable of the Prodigal Son. We are not perfect and loving ourselves as the Father loves the Prodigal Son is vital to living a full life. The second "dutiful" son she calls our shadow. The Shadow simply shows us contrast, it is not the evil side to be despised. The Shadow holds our limiting beliefs and protections. The Shadow lives in a prison of our own making.

You, too, can break out of your own prison because 1) we get help creating the prison (childhood rearing, societal expectations, our own interpretations and beliefs) and 2) the good news is that we hold the key to getting out. The jailer is us, not the "other" that we want to blame for holding us prisoner.

For most of my life, I have been blessed with premonitions. I learned at an early age to trust "that voice" in my head because it spoke many words of wisdom. One of the things that I have known for 30 years is that at age 50, I would no longer work for money but rather, I would change my career and work from my passion (not that I won't still earn a great living, it won't be my primary motivation).

I have called this my "50+ plan". I just turned 49 in May. Great timing, eh? I had no idea that a sabbatical would be involved. The most ironic part is that this premonition is the last one. From here on in, it becomes a cliff. I really am in new territory with no "gut feel" or goal to constantly point me like a North Star. It feels exhilarating, actually! I am constantly practicing detachment and allowing this to unfold organically. It may sound like drifting and meandering, but it feels exploratory, adventurous and fun.

I have also had some dreams lately that, strung together, convey an interesting message.

The first is that I keep hearing the song "I Had A Dream" sung by Susan Boyle. And then I saw an interview with her and others where they were talking about how she went from obscurity ("hidden") to being out in the public eye. She said in the interview that it was like being hit with a wrecking ball (I think she used the term "gobsmacked", actually). People who live in the public eye have learned how to live with being seen over the course of many years. It reminded me of my early 20s - I had some jobs where I was in the public eye and didn't handle having everyone know about my business all the time. It was also a time that like many others I had my own dreams and ideals, and abandoned many of them.

The second set of dreams is Michael Jackson and the song "Beat It". He had a lot of hit songs with great messages - why this one? The lyrics talk about walking your own path. And, MJ was one of the most creative people of our time. Perhaps it is a message to explore my own creativity? I have been meaning to attend an art class for the last two months...

The third set of dreams that I have had over the last few weeks involves the main character of the TV show "Bones". Dr. Brennan is a very intelligent woman that doesn't always understand subtle human behavior and nuances. It is entertaining how she is portrayed as caring but also at times socially inept. We normally think of a person having both qualities. I have many clear memories of times in my life that I thought feelings were a sign of weakness and I disconnected my heart. Just unplugged the dang thing - pop! Not connecting with our heart can make us socially inept because we miss subtle "heart language" clues for ourselves and others that we care about. I built a prison cell with these beliefs.

Clearly, this sabbatical for me is about reconnecting with my heart, my creativity and my dreams as well as deconstructing the jail cells that I have built over the years. Protections and beliefs (jail cells) develop because we need them, and then at some point it is okay to let them go. Every time someone that I know reaches out to me from my blog, I am reminded how much I love them. I have been active on Facebook and have reconnected with many people that I love. I plugged my heart back in and let go of some protections. I keep simplifying my life. Go for the simple answers, simple pleasures. Breathe. Enjoy. Repeat. I sometimes wonder if my IQ drops with each cycle - LOL!

Yesterday, I was using Reiki with one of my hospice clients. The energy work was complete and I was just lightly touching her neck, head, shoulders. I was so connected in my heart and loving her in that moment, loving her spirit. Just spending time with her, paying attention to her, being with her. Those moments were timeless. It was the essence of life.

I have opened a new blog called "Heart Warriors". I want to fill it with stories of people who are "heart warriors" - people who are living from their heart. If you know a person, have a story to tell, share an event - I would love to publish it on this blog!

With much gratitude for every loving and living moment, Mj XOXO

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Nine Month Check in

It's hard to believe it has already been nine months since I began this sabbatical. I have learned many things that I would like to comment on here.

Lately, I have also been busy with many family visits so I haven't been writing as much. Starting in May, we had lots of activities for about 10 weeks. It was a joy to spend time with Mom Puleo especially, cousin Julie and the kids and other family members. We celebrated Paul's 65th birthday and Fathers Day all together. My sister and brother in law even drove out from Indiana for a weekend. It was lots of fun and great to spend time with everyone, and it also kept my sabbatical activities to a minimum. In other words, not much to report on the sabbatical front.

As I look over the last nine months, it feels like I have come so far and yet there is so much more. I am the same and I am different (which you are probably saying to yourself "duh" :-). I experience great joy when I think about what I have accomplished and yet, I see that I want to go so much further in learning, developing, serving others. I am enjoying both.

Right now, I am in the midst of rediscovering the joy of play. I feel like I am on an extended summer vacation, and I worked very hard for many years to create this space. If you keep up with my Facebook updates, I am getting out into nature as of late and I feel refreshed and renewed every day. I have especially enjoyed two activities - riding my bike and floating in the ocean. I surrender to the gentle floating of the waves and the feeling of freedom as I glide my bike through parks and trails.

I do have "urges" to move into action, and I have let my intuition guide me every step of the way. At the beginning of this sabbatical, a well intentioned friend warned me that I should have some clear goals. She said her fear was that I would come to the "end" and not have anything to show for it. I paused and then intentionally let go of that fear for myself. The richest part of this journey has been keeping it open ended and undefined. I was "supposed" to be writing a book, getting back into my music and art. I will probably still do those things, just on a different time table.

Instead, I have been deeply exploring how we manage many levels of our energy and how it shows up in our personalities, our relationships, our spirituality and our beliefs. In the process I have learned more about myself in the last nine months than I think I have over the last 40+ years. I have also done a fair amount of healing work with myself and with the assistance of others. I have taken some energy workshops and have been "teaching" energy workshops with friends and neighbors at home for the last few months.

In so many ways, my life feels more like I am gliding toward my desires rather than pushing a rock up the hill. Hallelujah! I love this life a lot more and want to bring more of this into everything that I do. More appreciation, more creativity, more life!

I signed up for the Barbara Brennan Healing Science four year program, which starts in late August. In the meantime, I have been working on my homework assignments to prepare for my first year. I have been reading the "Hands of Light" book, and every time I open it I see more and more excellent information.

There are so many ways that I want to help others as well as continue my own path of growth and development. What I have discovered is that this sabbatical is a trajectory for a direction that has had long roots throughout my life but has been hidden and undeveloped for many years.

Today, I have an energy session with a hospice client and then I will enjoy yet another beautiful day in Paradise!

With much love and gratitude, Mj xoxo

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Do You Know What You Want to Do?

This article by Natalie Caine, M.A. is from the Self Improvement newsletter at SelfGrowth.com. I like this article because it provides practical advice for figuring out the age old question: "What should I do with my life?" and also reminds us that we live in a community. It is okay to reach out and ask for help, and in fact, your family and friends would probably enjoy the opportunity to be in service to you! ~~ Love, Marijo

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Empty nesters, women and men who have been in a career for decades, stay-at-home moms, parents retiring, college grads, and people returning from service... all are asked, What do you want to do now?

Are you asking yourself that question? Have you come up with some ideas, but....

I know what it is like when you are burnt out, can't figure out what to do next, or feel you just can't do it all by yourself.

Over the years, I have heard stories of desire and confusion when it comes to what to do next.

I was fortunate, sitting in my daughter's high school college meeting, that my idea to start Empty Nest Support Services came to me, motivated from not wanting anyone to go through this major life transition alone.

I knew nothing about websites, but I did know how to teach, inspire, and learn. I made a list of what I was good at doing, what compliments I had heard over the years. For example, "You make communicating so easy. You just are able to stay hopeful even when you have no idea how to solve your problems, you say it like it is but you aren't a punisher. I have never met anyone who follows their gut feelings like you do." I am not telling you this to brag. We all know what we are good at doing. I am telling you because it sticks when others share what they know about you.

I am telling you also because here is a way to find out what people think your talents, skills, and gifts are that you could offer to others. (No one told me math.)

GET STARTED:

1. Invite them to your home.

2. Feed them.

3. Give them paper to write how they have helped you, how they have seen you help others, what they think you would like to do, and finally what short phrase they would say about you. For example, "Kathy, you are the best organizer."

4. If a friend can't come, email them the questions to fill in and have them email them written back to you. Put a return date on the email. People complete with deadlines and structure.

5. I still remember how vulnerable and how much fun that evening was for me. It actually is not ego. It takes courage to ask for help.

6. Write what you aren't good at doing. How much would you pay someone to help you, or how could you barter your needs with someone who has the skill? I have bartered computer skills for my teaching, workshops, consultations, and more.

7. Have the courage to ask for help. You can research online or in your community in the local papers, throwaway magazines, and papers to get support.

8. Have someone interview you. One of my favorite things is to interview a new client of mine.

Call me and you will see how that ignites what is next for you. It is quick, easy, and gives results. A surprise is revealed, and you will be smiling. A key is looking at who you are and who you aren't as of today and then having three steps of how to pull yourself up to what you want to become. I am simply passionate about revealing your dormant selves to you. I remember the six calls I had with a mother who, long story short, discovered by letting her talk about her joy in watching soap operas, that she really wanted to teach acting to elementary children. She just forgot that part of her through the decades of being mom and working in a bookstore.

No one wants to make changes alone. You don't have to. You need someone to ask the questions, really listen, and check back in with you. I, for sure, had professionals and friends on my path of building my new passions. I say passions because there is more to life than work.

When we are thinking about what is next, it doesn't only mean work. We simply get seduced into thinking we aren't enough if we aren't working, giving back. Not true. What's next could be making time for new relationships, both in partnering and friendships. I have seen where women want to date but are spending time with their friends and not making time to meet a partner. It is a comfort zone. Single parents feel overwhelmed, out of practice, and insecure about their looks, interests, and ways to connect.

Don't you wish we could just say what is to ourselves and then others? It is freeing.

More than anything, I know people want connections with like-minded others. They want a community. They don't want to always be the initiators and planners. Sound familiar?

My reminder to you is to not go through these transitions alone. If there is one risk you can force yourself to take, write what compliments you have heard about yourself over the years and ask your friends to email you or come over and write that list with you. OK, that is two risks.

Just do it. Stop that chatter in your head. Do it.

Email me at Natalie@emptynestsupport.com and let me know what showed up on your list. Call me if you need support for what is next for you.

I know times are tight with finances, and I know we can work something out so you can feel the hope and excitement of where to be heading.

Let's get going so summer is filled with something just for you.

* Do you want to write a book?

* Start a vegetarian cooking class?

* Grow a garden?

* Volunteer abroad for a week?

* Mentor at a library?

* Take a six-week course?

* Play tennis or golf?

* Get out your guitar?

* Take a vacation?

What do you think you need just for you?

About the Author:

Natalie Caine M.A., Program Director of Boomer-Living.com's "Boomer Advice for Empty Nesters," is the founder of Empty Nest Support Services launched in 2001. Natalie has been featured in the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, USA Today, and more. http://www.emptynestsupport.com

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Creating Our Reality vs. Blame

There is a lot of commentary about how we create our own experience and our own reality, and therefore, the responsibility that comes along with that. When it comes to health issues especially, there is sometimes an inference that a person caused their own illness and therefore is to "blame".

Louisa Hay, among others, makes a point to NOT blame the individual - the issue is one of awareness. Habits without awareness will lead to relatively predictable patterns of thoughts, emotions, and physical reactions. In the case of illness or "dis-ease", holding these patterns of thoughts, emotions and postures can show up in the physical realm in a variety of ways. There are energetic and physical patterns that are consistent with certain thoughts and beliefs (see "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louisa Hay).

Here is an analogy - If I only made right turns on my car and never made a left turn, soon I would see more wear and tear on the right side. I may not be aware of the choices that I have until I learn that left hand turns are possible. You can "blame" me for only making right turns, but what does that add to the conversation?

Humans are a symphony of thoughts, emotions, physical structure and movement. In this mix, our emotions can play a role to impact dis-ease in many forms. For example, a person may have an old injury and always be guarding to prevent re-injury. They fear re-injury and hold their body in a certain way. Over time, the muscles, tendons, joints, etc. will respond accordingly. This is also true for athletes. They sculpt their bodies over time to match the sport that they play. In fact, the best athletes combine techniques that bring their mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual selves into alignment. Some athletes talk about how they were "destined" in their sport. Think Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Arthur Ashe, etc.

That is not blame, that is cause and effect.

It is easier for us to make these logical conclusions with structural parts (bones, ligaments) than the organs (heart, liver, etc.) or "foreign" substances in our bodies (tumors). We often carry the attitude that cancer "happens to us" and people engage in thoughts of "they are such a good person they don't deserve this". In reality, we are 100% cell and tissue and everything in our body is impacted by our thoughts, emotions, body movements, etc. It may be easier to see the cause and effect on our structure (we move a certain way) than to see the effect on our organs (e.g, stress, anger, depression). Another excellent book on this subject is "Diary of a Medical Intuitive" by Christel Nani RN PhD.

The emotional and mental origin of a pattern (whether we judge it to be "positive" or "negative") may be from an experience from yesterday or from childhood. The mental and emotional pattern is still held in the body whether the person remembers the triggering event or not. In fact, it may be MORE confusing if they don't remember the event, because it may seem to come from "no where". Which, of course, points back to awareness - of the triggering event or even if they are aware of the pattern at all.

More awareness = living in the current moment = more possibilities
= more choice = more opportunity for change.
There is no blame in this equation, only compassion.

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

PS - many thanks to my wonderful friend Gail R, who forwarded me a newsletter and stimulated an email exchange on this topic. Thank you my friend!

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The Traveler

I have been getting a visualization lately that I love. It is a warm summer day and I am dressed for hiking and with a back pack. I have a walking stick in my left hand as I am walking a path through a dense and bright green forest. It is a sunny and breezy day and the forest is alive with colors, sounds, smells, textures and energy. I am drinking in every moment of the experience. This is my sabbatical.

It is peaceful. I am alone and yet, I know that I am not alone. Before me, there are those who have traveled this way before. They reach out their hand to guide me from their own path. Their words of wisdom, love and support teach me that I am on the right path. Beside me I have many around me that are supporting me in my journey - the people in my life and my spirit guides. With their love they provide the space I need to travel this journey. I know that no harm will come to me. I am in union with the glory and energy of nature! I have no concerns about the beginning and end to this path, I am only in the moment. There is no destination, only "being".

"When you once begin to find God in your soul,
presently you will begin to
discover him in other men's souls and
eventually in all the creatures and
creations of a mighty universe."
The Urantia Book, Page 1733 (155:6.13)

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

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Marijo Receives the Friends Award!

What a great surprise! I just received the Friends Award from Laura at Laura Reviews. Thank you Laura - I am honored by your award!

I am also honored by the people who are following this blog. I regularly receive emails and phone calls from people around the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you... your encouragement keeps me inspired!

And so, here are the details of the award:

These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.

In the spirit of the award, I am "paying it forward" and I encourage you all to take a look at their sites! When I need a laugh, some inspiration, or some great perspectives, I run to these sites first:

Thought Gadgets
A Little Life Music A Big Life Dance
Leadership Learning
My Stream of Thoughts
Mocha Momma
Desperately Searching For My Inner Mary Poppins

And, of course, my friend Laura! :-)

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

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Always and Never

In our culture, we like the certainty of talking about "always" and "never", and of course we can "always" find an exception to any rule (therefore, disproving either one). Many arguments will start or escalate once these words are introduced into the conversation.

So why do we use these concepts? We are socialized to use anchors to provide stability and predictability. As a change consultant, I often asked "where are the anchors?", the things that people feel they can count on "regardless". These anchors would help them manage - and in some cases endure - change. I worked with organizations to design new structures and then pour cement all over them.

Last week, I talked about a book that I read which really hit home for me regarding many aspects of my personality. It said a lot in a mere 120 pages. I submerged myself deeply in the message and looked at my own life as well as my beliefs (both past and current).

This sabbatical is about me pushing the envelope in many ways as deeply as I can. I am doing a lot of introspection and burrowing on my perceptions and beliefs. Mentally I leave a delicate silk thread to bring me back from the edge when I go on these journeys in order to preserve my sanity (or so I like to think). It allowed me to go very deep and pull myself out. In this case, I went to the times in my life where I believed it was 100% true. This time, I went for broke.

It was a sobering experience. I became deeply honest with myself in a way that I don't remember doing before. I saw where it is me and it isn't me, even in the exact same moment. I took full responsibility for my beliefs and past behavior and was able to lay it down and let go. Since then, I feel more "whole", centered and serene. Another turn of the crank...

I also realized that I was going down a rabbit hole and creating new anchors, a new story. Ha! There is a lot of truth in my behavior, but my behavior is not the Truth of who I am. When I looked at the times when this was "100% true", it was true in that moment and also a product of past experience and current beliefs. It was also a series of moments over millions of moments in my life. How do we embrace the totality of Truth in it's many facets and dimensions, and traverse the many possibilities of what is/is not true in that moment? I was able to experience a single moment and simultaneously pull back and experience the context of the moment, and see a broader perspective in both.

We cling to anchors and regard them as truth because we want structure and form. We want to be able to neatly explain our past, and with a high degree of certainty be able to predict our future. We are in love with this idea! Six Sigma is a philosophy and discipline dedicated to creating predictable results to the nth degree. To live by structure means that we are locked in structure, too. And then people feel trapped in a system they believe they cannot change.

Everything is flexible, fluid and dynamic, but it is hard for us to wrap our heads around that all the time. It is helpful to remember that change happens in an instant. Moment by moment, we choose whatever experience we want to create, but it is sometimes easier to think that we are victims of our circumstances or follow a process in autopilot.

We can stick by our story and anchors, create news ones, or just let them go. We can make the same choices, just do it consciously and with joy. Ask yourself throughout the day - "What am I creating - now, in this moment? What anchors have I created and am now blindly hanging on to? Am I trapped in my own story?".

In appreciation for this moment... and this one... and this one.... Love, Mj XOXO

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Time to Pause...

I am in some identity work today. Catalysts work in our life in many wonderful and sometimes unexpected or unusual ways, and staying open to the ridiculous or unexpected synchronicity is important for our own growth. Last year, I was writing in my journal and my task was to learn from everybody, "...even homeless people". About 10 days later - and I probably would have not recognized the opportunity - I had a conversation with a homeless person that changed my views on determination and hope. Last week it was a teddy bear.

Today, it is a book that I bought about five years ago but did not have the courage to read until now. I did not have enough self acceptance to hear the words. So, I may be off line for a while as I take this inside for some inner soul work. This is for me - as any moment can be for us at any point in our lives - a point of trajectory that is helping me be more consciously aware, that is reshaping how I view my past and creating a platform for my future.

With gratitude for every moment of grace. Love, Mj XOXO

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Meet Boobah, the Wonder Bear

This will be one of the most, er, unusual posts I have written. I see in a lot of spiritual writings that there is a point where a person has to go mad, crazy, unglued before they reach the other side. I think I am taking - hope this is - a step in that direction. I shan't shake my head too much lest a marble or two roll out...

The story begins on Sunday during my healing session with Joy Adler. It is our second session and we were working on things that I started discovering over three years of talking and introspection. We telepath our hopes, our dreams, our wounds and our triumphs through our energy field, and Joy is one of those people who is trained to read that energy.

During our session, we are working on my force of will. At first, I thought "F***, there is that anger I thought I let go of". Now, after a few days, I can see how I have a strong force of will. It has served me well during times of determination, and it has also worked against me when it has been bundled with my personal logic and created mischief in my relationships. So I scheduled some time on my calendar this week to journal and do some introspection work. My husband was going on a business trip, so the timing was working out well. By golly, I was going to get rid of this thing and be done with it. (Hmmmm, see how force of will can work against me? ;-)

Sunday night, I am going to bed and I look at a stuffed bear that we have on the headboard. I ask myself a question - is processing and integrating my session "full on" the only way to approach what is going on with me? What if I used a softer approach where I comforted and nurtured myself instead? With that thought, I act on the impulse to take the bear with me into bed and hold it. Yeah, I know, I am a grown adult. Sounds crazy. And, there was a strange comforting feeling that I got from doing this. I feel like a whack job writing this, and laughing. Bear with me, it gets even better. Yeah - pun intended. ;-)

We also sleep together Monday night and I sneak her back onto the floor in the early morning hours before my husband wakes up. Tuesday, hubby is gone on his trip and I decide that me and the bear are going to spend some quality time together. In the daylight, no more sneaking around like we are having an affair in the dark of night. Well, only behind closed doors. I'm not that brave or crazy to take her to the local grocery store.

So meet Boobah, the Wonder Bear. Over the course of 48 hours, Boobah and I spent a lot of time together: fixing meals, working on the computer, reading, watching TV together, playing, carrying her around like a baby. And in that time, she became a wonderful catalyst. She symbolically helped me in several ways:

• At first, I allowed myself to enjoy the tactile sensation of her soft fur, which was comforting. From time to time, people will share stories of their special childhood blanket and how comforting it felt when they rubbed the silk seam (and oh by the way, how they still have that blanket and pull it out from time to time). It felt like that.
• Next, Boobah evolved into a young puppy, soft and cuddly and it felt playful and fun. I remembered times in my life when I played with puppies and enjoyed their innocence and playfulness.
  
• Then, I started to remember many different times when I held babies and small children in my arms, talked and read stories to them over the years. I could feel the love and bonding that I felt for the child in those moments. I felt my heart open a little more.
• I moved on to thinking about the children who will be in the New World Leadership school that is opening in September, where my husband and I are investors. I visualized children running around the yard, playing with each other, learning, exploring. We are helping to create a special place for them. My heart opened even more.
  
• Then this little wonder bear represented my own inner child. I felt like I went back in time and showered my own little girl self with my presence and love in ways that I thought I had missed. My resentment dissipated and I felt complete.
  
• Finally, I was able to feel love for the child I never had. For many years, I was angry at how I was raised and swore that I would never subject a child to the same experience I had. I was able to make peace with that.
  

Stuffed teddy bears are an American phenomenon, and it started in 1903 when a cartoon depicted Teddy Roosevelt on a hunting trip refusing to shoot a bear that was tied to a tree. According to Wikipedia, "Morris Michtom saw the drawing of Roosevelt and the bear cub and was inspired to create a new toy. He created a little stuffed bear cub and put it in his shop window with a sign that read 'Teddy's bear'... The craze for Teddy Bears was such that ladies carried them everywhere, children were photographed with them, and Roosevelt used one as a mascot in his bid for re-election."

During emergencies, fire personnel will give teddy bears to children because it has been shown to help stabilize them during a crisis. There is something inviting about these little things, with their wide set eyes and soft fur. They symbolize comfort, compassion and nurturing.

Boobah's work as a catalyst is complete. I honor the work that we did this week and she is going back on the head board with my appreciation. Thanks Boobah!

Here's a small addendum, posted late afternoon. I can't remember the last time I felt this peaceful and balanced. We all get strong "intuitive hits" to do things. True guidance would not direct you to harm yourself or another. And, by the way, the requests can be wacky and really out of our comfort zone. It tests our faith and courage.

After this morning's post (and a few more hours of shut eye) I did my morning meditation. I received guidance for over 30 minutes which for me longer than usual. I followed the four basic steps - Clear and Connect, Ask and Allow - and I was able to "hear" them more clearly. All good stuff...

To all the teddy bears in your life, with much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO
.

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The Spirit of Giving - Annie and Amanda

I want to share the amazing story of Annie and Amanda. I met them yesterday when I was taking the train from NJ to NYC for another energy session with Joy Adler (and, by the way, another powerful session). I spotted Annie's bag and asked her if she was a volunteer with hospice. We struck up a delightful conversation for the next hour, all the way into Penn Station.

Annie is "only" level 1 Reiki and my impression is that there is nothing "only" about this woman. She loves to travel and it has been her goal to reconnect with all of her family members wherever they are - including a trip to Brazil several years ago with Amanda in tow. They both lit up when talking about that trip, the heart connections they made, and the joy they felt in meeting their distant relatives who are not nearly as distant now.

Annie has also been a hospice volunteer in her area for several years, offering Reiki to hospice patients. She taps into the power of prayer and Reiki to lovingly assist people in their transition. I was struck by her love and inspired by her giving spirit. She is vibrant, outgoing and full of wonderful energy and spirit.

Amanda is definitely "cut from the same cloth", with her grandmother's spirit of adventure and gift of love. Several years ago she wanted to volunteer. She searched the web, found an organization in New Zealand that sent her to an African community of 40,000 people who were outcasts and under the protection from the UN. She spent a month teaching them how to use computers. She said "I learned more in one month than I did in a year in college". It was evident from our conversation how big both experiences were for her - the trip to Brazil and her work in Africa. I hope that she follows her passion and dreams, and I suspect that her education awaits her out in the world.

We exchanged contact information and will stay in touch. I hope to see Annie at the hospice convention in July. Their love for each other was so evident. They both helped me connect with my own heart energy, and for that I am deeply appreciative.

Later that evening, I described our conversation to my husband and how we met.

He: "How do you do this?"
Me: "What?"
He: "Meet people like this - you're telling me that you met a woman who does Reiki - at a hospice - just like you - on the train?"
Me: "Honey, this is my life."

I believe in the the power of love.
I believe in synchronicity.
I believe in the power of energy.
Everything can change - in an instant.
If only we allow.

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

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The Joy of Connecting with Energy

Sunday, I conducted a video workshop with some friends who are Reiki practitioners. I have written before about Quantum Touch and how it is very complimentary to Reiki and other modalities such as Qigong, Tai Chi, etc. Four of us spent the day together and had a marvelous time. We each come from such different places in our lives and have different backgrounds. One woman is a massage therapist and Reiki Level II. The man is a black belt in martial arts and also practices Qigong in addition to Reiki Level II. Another woman is a high priestess and ritual master as well as an experienced Reiki Master. And, well, you know my story...

It gave me great joy to see all of us working together and our skills blossom! The massage therapist often sees colors and she expanded the range and diversity of colors in her sight. She also for the first time "felt guidance" in placing her hands.

In doing this work, we concentrate on getting out of the way, we empty our minds and let go of our own personal agendas so the energy can flow through us. As she was working, she felt the intuitive "nudge" to place her hands in several positions. This often happens with massage therapists and chiropractors - they just seem to "know" where to put their hands. Some of that is their expert knowledge; they observe the person moving and through experience they know what parts of the body are out of alignment. Reiki practitioners often scan the area with our hands and we can feel a shift in energy over a particular spot.

And then, there are times that we just get a "knowing" to lay our hands in a particular spot. Literally, it is as if someone is moving our hands for us. This is what she experienced for the first time. Woo hoo!

The gent in our group started to see color for the first time ever! It was helpful for him to get advice and help from the other two ladies. He was particularly in tune with the flow of energy among us as we were working. The other woman is already a very powerful healer after many years experience, and amazingly was able to amp up her energy even more. These techniques helped to ground her energy and make the spectrum more complete.

The Quantum Touch way of teaching us to "run energy" is very easy to learn and has increased our own skill and capacity. We all are aware of energy when we walk into a room, or we meet someone that we immediately connect with or immediately feel the urge to stay away from. This energy work that we are focusing on takes the same feelings and refines it even further. All of us could go out onto a field and throw a ball around to each other, yet it takes discipline, focus and dedication to take "playing catch" to an art form as a professional athlete.

As for me, I continue to build my skills through almost daily practice. I can feel my skills slowly get stronger day by day, and I am deeply appreciative of the people who help me practice. Someone asked me yesterday "Did it work?". We are taught to let the ego step aside. It is always so very tempting to want to "prove" that this works, to show evidence that a change occurred. This is a rational thought process that is ingrained in our culture. The eye cannot see all that there is to see.

We do not know the work that the person needs to do, whether it is on a mental, emotional, physical or spiritual level. The hardest part of this work is remaining unattached to the need and the outcome. A few weeks ago, I was working with someone with a headache. I felt my angel guide put her arms inside of mine and surround the person with love. In that moment, what she needed was not for the headache to go away but to feel love.

I do not "heal" anyone. I set an environment through the mastery of my own energy to assist another person to do their work. I am a guide, a partner, a channel, a catalyst for the other person's work and I set a loving intention to invite them into a deeper exploration of their own mastery. I do this as a hands on practitioner and as a coach. Every day each of us has an opportunity to be a catalyst for another and joyfully connect with their energy in a positive and affirming way. Did you see your opportunity today?

With much love and gratitude, Mj XOXO

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A Milestone...

Yesterday was an important milestone. I am exactly half way through this sabbatical. Wait, let me count the months again... yes, half way through! I was reflecting on the road thus far. I really had no idea what would come of this and have always consciously kept my options open all the way through this. I am amazed at how far I have come and how far I still want to go! As I was writing in my journal, I began to think - what am I half way through and what have I completed?

• I am all the way through Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain and The Intention Experiment. In January and February, I was obsessed with this material. Both of these books are modern scientific foundation work for disciplines of spirituality that have been in existence for thousands of years (Buddhism, Hinduism, QiGong, Catholicism, shamanism, etc.)
  
• I am half way through Hands of Light, Light Emerging and Sacred Contracts. The first books were important foundation reading for the second set of books. Ah, the wisdom of guidance! (By the way, if you use these Amazon links to buy these books, I get a bit of money through their referral program.... thanks for your support!)
  
• I am half way through my life and my career - perhaps 2/3.
• I have a doctorate and several other certificates and degrees, and yet there is so much I still want to learn. I look at my bio and I don't recognize that person any more.
  
• I some ways I feel like I have lived several lifetimes and in other ways I never grew up.
• I am open and closed, satisfied yet yearning, courageous and fearful, loving and selfish, angry and peaceful, light and shadow, curious and inattentive. I am all of these, and more.
  
• I feel like the best is yet to come!

Last Monday, I had a great coaching call with Chris. She could see that I am deeply moving into the Individualist/Pluralist stage, where I am feeling the polarity and the pull of what we often call "black and white thinking". She helped me see that I have been setting up and challenged by polarities. Aha! I get it! Now I see why they changed the name of this stage to Pluralist, because of the learning about polarities. LOL!!

So one of the key questions for a person in this stage / for me is: How do I embrace the dichotomy? Chris' advice: It is through trial and error and continually focusing on what I want to create. You know, the ol' "staying in the moment" thing....

One of the challenges that I have always had is to keep an open mind and look for other possibilities. I begin to make an either/or decision, dutifully performing the classically trained "pros and cons" analysis. Because I am out of my comfort zone in the unknown, I often leap to making a decision once I see two choices available. I thought creativity was pushing beyond the first two choices available.

I was pushing deeper on this last idea in my journal this morning. As I was working through the Sacred Contracts book, Caroline Myss kept stressing that "we all have all of these archetypes within us". We have within us a microcosm of everything that is. In spiritual terms we often talk about the "oneness of everything". This concept finally and firmly hit home with me this morning. We are our own unique blend of everything - sort of like our own "unique recipe" and blend of all ingredients. Lately, I have been discovering and exploring "my own recipe" (archetypes).

Up to now, this sabbatical has been about pushing the envelope for myself, going to the extremes to see my potential and test my limits (and, by the way, making some people very nervous in the process). In some ways, this has been the "X Games" of personal development.

In my conversation with Chris, we were talking about pulling back and focusing on balance - between action and stillness, between being alone and with others in relationship, etc. I test my archetypes through my sacred contracts with others in relationship. I need both. This month's theme is about "re-balancing", looking beyond the dichotomy and embracing the full polarity, the entire uniqueness of my own "recipe" and seeking the entire unique "recipe" of others. That I believe is creativity, the ability to embrace and work with all of that. In each moment, we are bringing forth one or several aspects from a range of all possibilities that we all have within us.

In order to re-balance my life, I have started to move into action. I became an employee at Simply Massage, I have been busy scheduling and giving private Reiki / energy balancing sessions with people, and I started training last Friday to become a hospice volunteer. I can be still within and be in action.

When you become a warrior, you learn to meditate in every action.
Socrates in Peaceful Warrior

Love, Mj XOXO

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