Smooth, So Smooth

I haven't written much in the last few months, partly because it has been summer time and well, the ocean has been calling my name (this is a photo I took.) Lots of family visits and then lots of visits with friends including a week long "stay-cation" (stay at home vacation). My new way to meditate is on the back of a bike or floating in the ocean.

I still feel like I am at a turning point, of which I am not sure. A few months ago, I embraced my shadow and I could feel the change in my body, my emotions and in my thinking. It truly was a point of transformation for me on a scale that I have never experienced before.

Since then, I have been focusing much more on my energy. I have become much more aware of how I feel in my body and whether I am in integrity or not. It has become uncomfortable to not be 100% in integrity, if I am whole (or not) in my relationships. I used to feel like I had a chip on my shoulder a lot, an edge that was underneath. Chip gone!

My husband and I have changed together, for the better. Especially in the last few weeks we both have become much more aware of our relationship and those "sticking points" and we shift in the moment. It is not avoidance, per se (i.e., "oh, don't go there"), it is more about wanting more from our relationship and actively creating what we want.

I also feel like it is much less about doing and much more about being. I guess this goes along with the comments on energy. I am more cognizant about "who am I" in the moment. My timeframe has also expanded. I consciously step back and take a broader view across my life, across other perspectives and can see when I am getting myself "stuck" in the emotion of the moment and in a narrow frame of mind.

It has also become even easier to "process" myself, to observe my reactions and to be able to dig into what is going on for me in terms of my beliefs, assumptions, challenges, etc. I can hear feedback much easier and take it less personally. I am much more engaged with others and joyful with others!

I did many of these things before, but now it is 10x, if not 100x! Life is smooth, with very little resistance. It is amazing what life is like on this side. It is hard to describe if you are not "here". I still have challenges, but now it is easier to flow through them rather than fight them. I occasionally wonder if I will "go back"when I go back to work, to the daily stress that are normal in daily life. I have constructed a life here that is a wonderful space for me to experience this serenity. I feel like I am "boring" - just happy, happy, happy!

I am now 10 months into this sabbatical and could never have "prescribed" or created goals for all that has happened for me. It has exceeded my expectations in so many ways! I set one goal - to trust my intuition and guidance throughout this process, and for that I am very grateful!

So what is next? Following my intuition is now a way of life for me. I know that I am on a path and that will continue. I actually was motivated to do some work yesterday! I have had zero motivation to do any work during this sabbatical. My motivation to work is a good sign. I knew this would not last forever, and yet until yesterday I kept feeling like "I'm not through yet".

I took the Myers Briggs test on Facebook today, and got the same score that I did before - INFP, which stands for Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceptive.

Hmmm - ya think?

With so much love and gratitude for this opportunity of a lifetime!

Mj XOXO