Do What You Love

I am a firm believer that a book will find us. My friend Cameron Thompson sent me a happy new year email and gave me Marsha Sinetar's contact information (the author of "Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow") and encouraged me to reach out to her. I did not. I didn't know what to say, quite frankly. I hadn't read the book, nor even gone to the local library or bookstore to find it. During our visit with cousin Julie, this book was on the shelf and "found" me. Okay, it is time.

I mention this because I know that many of my friends who read this blog have reached out to me and expressed their support of my journey (thank you!) but some also expressed their secret desire to break out. What surprised me about this book is the amount of psychological information of how we confine ourselves, and Marsha does a great job of describing how to get out.

Marsha talks about the parable of the Prodigal Son. We are not perfect and loving ourselves as the Father loves the Prodigal Son is vital to living a full life. The second "dutiful" son she calls our shadow. The Shadow simply shows us contrast, it is not the evil side to be despised. The Shadow holds our limiting beliefs and protections. The Shadow lives in a prison of our own making.

You, too, can break out of your own prison because 1) we get help creating the prison (childhood rearing, societal expectations, our own interpretations and beliefs) and 2) the good news is that we hold the key to getting out. The jailer is us, not the "other" that we want to blame for holding us prisoner.

For most of my life, I have been blessed with premonitions. I learned at an early age to trust "that voice" in my head because it spoke many words of wisdom. One of the things that I have known for 30 years is that at age 50, I would no longer work for money but rather, I would change my career and work from my passion (not that I won't still earn a great living, it won't be my primary motivation).

I have called this my "50+ plan". I just turned 49 in May. Great timing, eh? I had no idea that a sabbatical would be involved. The most ironic part is that this premonition is the last one. From here on in, it becomes a cliff. I really am in new territory with no "gut feel" or goal to constantly point me like a North Star. It feels exhilarating, actually! I am constantly practicing detachment and allowing this to unfold organically. It may sound like drifting and meandering, but it feels exploratory, adventurous and fun.

I have also had some dreams lately that, strung together, convey an interesting message.

The first is that I keep hearing the song "I Had A Dream" sung by Susan Boyle. And then I saw an interview with her and others where they were talking about how she went from obscurity ("hidden") to being out in the public eye. She said in the interview that it was like being hit with a wrecking ball (I think she used the term "gobsmacked", actually). People who live in the public eye have learned how to live with being seen over the course of many years. It reminded me of my early 20s - I had some jobs where I was in the public eye and didn't handle having everyone know about my business all the time. It was also a time that like many others I had my own dreams and ideals, and abandoned many of them.

The second set of dreams is Michael Jackson and the song "Beat It". He had a lot of hit songs with great messages - why this one? The lyrics talk about walking your own path. And, MJ was one of the most creative people of our time. Perhaps it is a message to explore my own creativity? I have been meaning to attend an art class for the last two months...

The third set of dreams that I have had over the last few weeks involves the main character of the TV show "Bones". Dr. Brennan is a very intelligent woman that doesn't always understand subtle human behavior and nuances. It is entertaining how she is portrayed as caring but also at times socially inept. We normally think of a person having both qualities. I have many clear memories of times in my life that I thought feelings were a sign of weakness and I disconnected my heart. Just unplugged the dang thing - pop! Not connecting with our heart can make us socially inept because we miss subtle "heart language" clues for ourselves and others that we care about. I built a prison cell with these beliefs.

Clearly, this sabbatical for me is about reconnecting with my heart, my creativity and my dreams as well as deconstructing the jail cells that I have built over the years. Protections and beliefs (jail cells) develop because we need them, and then at some point it is okay to let them go. Every time someone that I know reaches out to me from my blog, I am reminded how much I love them. I have been active on Facebook and have reconnected with many people that I love. I plugged my heart back in and let go of some protections. I keep simplifying my life. Go for the simple answers, simple pleasures. Breathe. Enjoy. Repeat. I sometimes wonder if my IQ drops with each cycle - LOL!

Yesterday, I was using Reiki with one of my hospice clients. The energy work was complete and I was just lightly touching her neck, head, shoulders. I was so connected in my heart and loving her in that moment, loving her spirit. Just spending time with her, paying attention to her, being with her. Those moments were timeless. It was the essence of life.

I have opened a new blog called "Heart Warriors". I want to fill it with stories of people who are "heart warriors" - people who are living from their heart. If you know a person, have a story to tell, share an event - I would love to publish it on this blog!

With much gratitude for every loving and living moment, Mj XOXO