Managing Our Transitions

William Bridges has a best selling book called "Managing Transitions". He talks about three phases of transition - ending, neutral zone and beginning. They are not distinct, but rather, they are overlapping phases. The work that we do in each phase is markedly different.

Ending - we deal with the termination of something significant in our lives. This is often marked by an event, such as marriage, divorce, change in jobs, etc. Sometimes we initiate the change event, sometimes it happens around us. The mental, emotional and physical work in this phase involves letting go of objects, people and ways of being.

Neutral Zone - we make the most progress on our transition here. I elegantly call it "that in-between time" that may feel uncomfortable because we aren't used to being there. Wayne Dyer talks about "getting in the gap" and Buddhists talk about the "fertile void". We often leap to thinking this means "empty" and "meaningless". Instead, think endless opportunities, openness, transparency, oneness, shifting, creation.

Beginning - we start moving into action when we have developed a new direction and commitment. It is our nature to be in motion, and we return to this state when we are ready.

Right now, I am primarily in the "Neutral Zone" in this sabbatical, by design. Today it feels, well, fidgety. It has been my nature to have a long to do list and attack it every morning, set goals and over achieve them. Full ego onslaught. Front of the room and top of the class. Things that would mark my identity in this world. That was my life for over three decades and I pursued it with wild abandon!

What prompted this for me today? Some of my fidgitiness is due to my "Ending" stage. I participate in several yahoo groups that are business related. I read the group postings and I have moments where they could as well be written in Portuguese. I remember the days when I knew the words that they use and spoke that language fluently with grace and ease. It was my life and I wonder if I will ever walk that way again. My fear is in the assumption that I will need to earn a living, and by golly, I will have to stop messing around, suck it up and do "that stuff" again. It is not exactly building commitment for me.

This is very typical for the "Pluralist" stage of Adult Development. Pluralists often want to run and get as far away from everything that defined us in the Achiever stage. Every time I think about going to work every cell in my body screams "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! I can't hump that hill right now." I told my friend Cameron this week that I am crazy. She said "We are all crazy, you are just willing to talk about it."

I do want to point out that many Pluralists make the transition without quitting their jobs or making other big changes in their lives. I just know for me there is a reason and a discipline for me staying put in my foxhole. It is my Ego that is trying to kick me out and get me into action, not my commitment. I recognize the voice when it urges me to "do something, anything". There are moments when I am intensely jealous of others who are in action. I stop and I look within. I know that "something" and "anything" are simply not what I need right now. I have moments of stillness. I want to become still and be. That is the fertile void that I desire.

All the best! Love, Mj