Who Loves You?

A have been in conversation via phone and email with quite a few people who are reading this blog. Thank you! It is encouraging to know that these entries "speak" to your own experience, and your questions and comments are very thought provoking. I like to think that together we are co-creating this!

My friend Mac asked me to do a few coaching exercises that have been helpful. I'll briefly describe the exercises.

1. List all of the things that I hate about my parents. (Yes, we all have "parent issues" in varying degrees.) Burn the list. (I did - it was very cathartic and I had a emotional hangover).
2. List all of the things that I love about my parents. This was an amazing exercise, and really opened up a lot of feelings of love and connection. Sweet! I will treasure this list and add to it over time. In fact, I am thinking about typing them on strips of paper and putting them in a jar to pull out on occassion. You know, kind of like "love M&Ms".
3. List all of people who love me, and why. (And also type this on strips of paper for the M&M love jar.)
4. Go to the grocery store and see how others connect with me and I with them. Journal on the experience.

This morning, I started work on #3. It was a very interesting, and I will describe the outcome.

I started with my husband. At first, the "whys" easily flowed. I spent 10 minutes before I hit a roadblock. I wanted to spend 30 minutes. This is good! One thing that we realized during our trip to Hawaii is that we want to expand our "love formula". For example, worry is part of our love formula. Does love mean that you worry about the other person? (Answer: for some, yes). Is this the "only" ingredient? No, but we discovered that it was a big part of our formula. So, hitting a roadblock means that I (we) just have more opportunity to grow in this way. Nice.... Feel free to try this one at home. :-)

I then moved to my sister Kathy and my friend Leigh. As I wrote about each one, I discovered that in many ways I am describing the same nature and depth of relationship. I have known my sister all of my life, and I have known Leigh for about 3 years. Both of them know that they can say anything to me and I will always love them. We have seen each other at our most vulnerable and know that it is safe. We are cheerleaders for each other. Our conversations are often filled with laughter, and they are both good at drawing out my quirky sense of humor. We are caring, loving, honest and heart connected. I love that both of them are in my life, and deeply honor our friendship.

Then I got to thinking - what if all my relationships were this way? Who would I be in order for that to happen? Hmmmmmm......

All the best! Love, Mj