Clear and Connect, Ask and Allow

I would like to take a step back and describe some fundamental assumptions that I use in my work. I like to keep things simple, and I have developed four words that I use to describe the process that I am using. Those four words are Clear and Connect, Ask and Allow.

Clear - Earlier I have talked about four levels of energy: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. We are born into this world in a pure state, and as we learn and grow, we experience life and record those experiences in our memories and our bodies.

In many of these experiences, we make decisions - often labeled as "limiting beliefs" - of how the world operates. Many of these decisions are made when we are experiencing intense emotions. How many times have you declared "I'll never do that again!"? It is likely that something happened and you experienced an intense emotional reaction. To avoid that reaction in the future, you made a decision and created a new belief about how the world operates. We also carry the emotional memory in our body.

Often we can easily shift once we become aware of our belief, and in the present moment we proactively make a different choice. Sometimes, we seem to respond to similar situations in the same pattern and can't break out of it. "Because of the human tendency to perpetuate old emotion, almost everyone carries in his or her energy field an accumulation of old emotional pain, which I call 'the pain body'." (Eckert Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's PurposeChap 5, pg 135).

Eliminating the pattern may require going to the root of the memory and releasing the emotion that is locked there. Feel the emotion 100%, allow yourself to be fully present to it and reduce it "...not through fighting it but through bringing the light of consciousness to it." (E. Tolle, pg 157). This is what I did with the visualization I described earlier. I moved through the emotion to the other side. I let go of the behavior pattern and am now able to make new choices.

Introspection is an important tool to unlock these beliefs. I highly recommend that you engage the services of a professional who can guide you through these processes. I learned how to do this by attending Global Relationship Center workshops and by working with a coach who taught me these tools.

Connect - This simply means connecting to three things: yourself, others, and your greater purpose (which may include connecting to God), and is described as a "heart connection". The more that we are connected to our purpose, our real identity without the constraints of societal and cultural expectations, and connected on a heart level with others, the happier we are. The clearer our mental, emotional and physical bodies are, the easier it is to have access to these experiences. Not impossible, just easier. It means staying present in every moment.

Ask - If we truly know our purpose for being here on earth, we can tap into many wonderful, creative forces in our own life. I personally believe that there are many forces and resources that are available to us beyond what we can see, touch and feel. The more that we clear and connect, the more we can ask and allow.

At this level, we can tap into vast energy sources that are within us and all around us. How many times have you walked into a room and the "room was alive" or "it felt heavy"? You are likely feeling the energy of the people in the room. Other unseen, external sources are also available to us. We call them God, spirit guides, guardian angels, loved ones who have passed away, "Source", Mother Earth - the list is endless. These are all ways that we represent what we feel but cannot know directly.

Presence, meditation and visualization are powerful ways to tap into these sources. Others describe "synchronicity" and "flow". This is known as the Law of Attraction and manifesting. I highly recommend a book called "The Power of Flow: Practical Ways to Transform Your Life with Meaningful Coincidence" by Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom. It describes in depth many of the principles on how to access these resources.

Allow - This step requires faith. We must be 100% responsible for what we ask for. Ideally it is in alignment with our purpose, and keeps us connected to ourselves and others (in other words, does not bring harm). However, we must be ready to accept the answers, and not be attached to the outcome. There is a requirement of faith that what you have received in response to your request is in your highest good.

I have lived in synchronicity and with this assumption of faith all of my life. In truth, I don't know how else to be. Throughout my life, things have not worked out the way that I wanted, and in hindsight I could always see how it worked out for the better. In fact, there were times that I was thankful I didn't get what I wanted! You could say that I color my perception in this, and you could be correct. And, my life is far happier because of this belief. Do I have moments of doubt? Yes.

This is a big, deep conversation that has many roots, branches and leaves. Heck, it is an entire forest, really. Some of what I have been describing in my blog to date is the "clearing" process, and I want to describe the other three steps in a more transparent way. Stay tuned, and I would love to hear your thoughts on what I have written here.

With much love and gratitude, Mj

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Closing a Chapter

I wanted to post an entry that closes a chapter on some work that I have been doing over the last few weeks. In "The Actor and the Observer Part II" I talked about dealing with my anger. I am happy to report that I have made significant progress!

My goal was to let go of holding on to my anger. Anger is neither good nor bad, it is an emotion that we all experience that provides us information and insight. Holding onto anger or being angry at someone are not healthy ways to experience anger. Using anger to fight injustice or protect our own healthy boundaries are ways that we experience anger to enhance our lives.

A few days after that last blog entry, I was writing my morning pages and started to journal on my angry emotions (again). I actually said "when do I finally let go of this???" (said angrily, of course :-). Fear was keeping me from letting go. I fully went into the experience of my anger with the same visualization as before, and stayed with it. I could feel a burning sensation in my abdomen. I laid down on the bed and it felt like a black, tarry mass oozed out (yup - bizarre, but true. I've had stranger things happen, really). Afterwards, I have to say - I felt clear inside, like water.

It was as if my anger was not only the key, but the fuel and the vehicle that were carrying me around in my life. I was tapping into that anger to get my motivation going. Feedback was received as criticism ("Ego takes everything personally" Eckert Tolle, A New Earth). That day, I left the key on the seat and got out of the car. I am walking around and exploring a whole new terrain! It is different and unfamiliar, and full of beauty. Since that experience two weeks ago, I have felt lighter. It opened up my ability to feel deep gratitude and to truly be in service to others.

In the previous blog entry, I mentioned that a person was "holding the energy" for me regarding my inability to express my anger. Freud called this "transference", and here is a Wikipedia entry that explains in more detail what this is. It is natural and we all do this.

Here is my explanation: Think of a time that you met a person and they seem to annoy you and you don't know why. It is likely that person reminds you of someone else, and it triggers certain emotions for you. That is transference. You are living out the other relationship with this person in this moment. I spent the weekend with the person who I was creating transference with, and it is gone. She did not need to change, I did.

Since I have started this sabbatical, I have owned up to the things that I was doing in several relationships that were not loving and supportive. I was feeling shame while doing it. Since then, my relationships with my sister, my mother and my friend from the weekend have improved. My brother called me this weekend to share the news that he got a new job, which was unusual and it made my day! My marriage is blossoming. I feel deeper connections with the many friends who bless my life in so many ways. It started with me getting real about what I was doing and taking responsibility to create what I really wanted.

So, I am now officially closing the chapter on this unhealthy way of holding on to anger. I will still get angry but I will be aware of how and when, and what will serve me and the other person. It's just good information, like any other emotion...

With much love and gratitude, Mj

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Craving the Silence

This week has been a wonderful week for me. Once again, I feel like I am turning a corner and I don't really know where this journey is taking me. I trust this process and am delighted to let it unfold naturally.

Monday I had a great time with my friend Allison at lunch. We used to work together many years ago and were able to reconnect on a heart level again. I was very present to being with her and enjoying every moment. I look forward to getting together again! Later that day, I went to Kathy and Anthony's house to help them set up their network. Once again, I was totally present and loved being in service.

Yesterday morning, I was drinking a cup of tea and the gratitude I felt for the day before really started to sink in. I started to look at my Starbuck's cup, which is cobalt blue and thinking how much I love this color blue. I was grateful for the plants that supplies the tea leaves for my enjoyment, for the tea companies who brought it to market. I was in gratitude to the companies that made the stove range and the teapot, and to the gas and water company. It went on for about an hour. It felt peaceful and expansive. I stopped to watch the inauguration, and was feeling the power of those historical moments like the rest of the country.

Every morning I dutifully write my morning pages and at the end of the writing I ask for my to do list for the day. Yesterday, I had only one item - finish reading "Messages from the Masters: Tapping Into the Power of Love" by Brian Weiss, MD. My friend Gail bought this book for me over the summer. I wanted to read it but I kept holding myself back. I didn't feel that I "deserved" to read this because I was not in alignment with the message. I did not feel that I was living the words that I was reading. It was probably my ego playing "keep away". :-)

Yesterday, I was in alignment. I finished reading the book and was so inspired by his words. He is a psychiatrist that has been doing past life regressions with people for 20 years. In the midst of these hypnosis sessions and in his own meditations, other "messages" would come through to him. These messages are consistent with the core message of every spiritual tradition: love is an energy that lives forever and is all that matters.

Today, I am feeling very open and expansive. It occurred to me that I have been craving silence for the past two days. It is as if the deep stillness is needed to hold the immense expansiveness that I feel. Sometimes sound can be noisy and intrusive. Right now, I am in complete silence. The sounds that I do hear - my fingers tapping on the keyboard, the faint scratching of the fountain pen on the paper, the tea kettle softly whistling - they hold a beauty all it's own. Slowing my life down has helped me pause to soak in the beauty that is all around me.

And for that, I am deeply grateful. Have a beautiful day today.

With much love and gratitude, Mj

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