My First Leap

In this first post, I will set a bit of context for this blog. This is titled "One Year in the Making". I am not sure what I am making in this year, but it will be an interesting growth experience I know. My intention is to let go and see what naturally arises. So, a bit of what this is and is not.

What this is:
... A place for me to reflect on my one year sabbatical.
... A check in. When I made my declaration, several people expressed interest in checking in with me along the way.
... A running commentary on my experience as I live in the present moment. I realize that I check my email far more often than I check in on my own experience.
... A way that may inspire your own thinking.
... A reflection of my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual self evolving.

What this is not:
... a debate about what is right or wrong. I respectfully encourage you to open your own blog. :-)
... my journal. I will be keeping a detailed journal, this will be a reflection of the highlights. Relax, I don't intend to bore you with the navel fuzz or toe crumb stuff.

Along the way, I will probably comment on how I came to this journey, why "now" and also my story up until now. I have been and will continue to rewrite my own history, which is part of this process which you will also probably see. I will probably gather some material from time to time and submit an article or two. I say "probably" because this will unfold. Time will tell what this becomes.

What is "coming up" for me is fear around a few things:

• Will I really commit to this for a year - the sabbatical and the blog? There is a siren song that is calling me to get real and get back to being productive. Can I really commit to this?
• This will come back to haunt me - a future employer will find this in the Google archives and think me a slacker, unpredictable and unreliable.
• This blog is open to the world. I am exposing my personal logic for all to see. There is fear about "being seen". I have spent much of my life hiding.
• People will think I am a failure, a loser, stupid, crazy and/or silly. Well, all of that can apply anyway. People will create and hold their own judgments about me whether I do this or not.
• I am trying to use this time to accelerate what will unfold naturally anyway, and losing a year of my life. I was losing integrity with myself and screwing up more and more so I am hitting the pause button for a year. If I kept going I would get over it anyway.

LOL! Wow, look at that. It's amazing how much fear is here. Okay, time to hit the "publish" button.

Love, Mj