Dealing with Nonlocality

In my previous post "From a Distance", I talked about the concept of nonlocality - being connected to someone over a distance. I got this question from a friend and want to devote a blog entry to it. I have pulled in her comments and responded throughout.

"Hey MJ,

How do you handle the emotional aspect of nonlocality? I think experiencing that sense of knowing makes me feel closer to the person. But, if the person is not having the same experience with me (or not as aware of it) they don't have the same sense of connection. I have experienced this imbalance in friendships and with Lovers. Like I am in a zone that does not exist for them."

Usually I did not share with them what was going on, although in a three cases I thought the person was open to my connection with them (they were). Mostly, I dealt with it on my own. Along the way, I figured out that I was there to serve them during a time of their life, to help them resolve some issue. I also felt very connected to them overall, and there were times I could feel them in moments when they were feeling intense emotions (frustration, upset, anger, distress, fear, happiness and joy). It was a constant roller coaster ride that would last several months.

"For example, a few years ago a friend of mine was on the brink of divorce. We lived in different cities (about 600 miles apart) and she hadn't told me she was having problems. But, I had a dream which stayed with me when i woke up one morning. That is usually a signal that the dream has real meaning. I called to ask if everything was ok and she said yes. But it still didn't seem right. About 2 months later she told me they were splitting and that when I called she just wasn't ready to tell anyone. Apparently, they had had a big fight the day before and that was the first time the idea of divorce came up. It freaked her out that I knew something was wrong."

Over time, I figured out that they didn't necessarily need to know, and what they really needed was my love. Many times, the people who I supported like this came into my life for a few months and then were gone. It is said that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or forever. For them, that was "the reason". I was called to serve, and I did.

Sometimes, they would appear as two people to me - I would get an impression of another presence, of that person at another time in their life where they were "stuck" there. It was in these cases, I became very clear about my task - to help them "resolve", to heal their wound and help them let go. It sounds like you have worked out for yourself how you get tuned in and what you trust.

"On my end, I knew she was witholding and it was hard to experience. It's like the connection gets disrupted. For those 2 months I was hurt whenever I thought of her."

It shows how much you are a caring person, and especially for her. You are a person who pours your love into your words and your life! It just so happened that she did not have enough strength to say what was going on, but you were strong enough to support her. Congratulations!

I finally learned that it wasn't about my emotions, it was about theirs. I learned to not go on the roller coaster ride with them. I would center myself and then energetically send love and comfort to them to help support them. When I did learn this, it became a wonderful experience for me to be able to serve in this way, and now I joyfully accept the task.

"Do you ever have that kind of reaction? ... I'm interested in your thoughts.
Gayle"

Thank you Gayle, for sharing your experience and questions, and let me know if this was clear. I love that you do have this ability, and it really does show how much you are "big love". I will support you in any way that I can - it's important work!

With much love and gratitude to you, my friend ~~ Mj XOXO

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From a Distance

I feel like a big sponge right now, I am absorbing so much that I am reading right now. I have woefully neglected my blogging duties because I have been reading so much. I sit and read pretty much from 9 am until 6 pm every day. My ever enlarging butt is reflective of that fact right now ;-)

I did start Qigong today (thank you Damian for the introduction) and I love it! I bought the Spring Forest Qigong kit developed by Chunyi Lin from Learning Strategies in Minnestota. In fact, I used to live about 2 miles from this place, and could have taken lessons directly from Master Lin. Oh well. I love the materials and how I feel, even after my first session.

I have started using the NeuroProgrammer software that I purchased, and have been doing meditation daily. I am using the Theta 50 minute program with the introduction script. During the sessions, I am feeling open and receptive and much of what I am reading is floating through with deeper and deeper insights. Now, after a few days, I am finding that my mind is floating into those same insights easily without the program.

I also started reading "The Intention Experiment" by Lynne McTaggert this morning. I got to page 8 and I started shaking. So many experiences in my life suddenly made sense in an instant.

"One of the strangest aspects of quantum physics is a feature called "nonlocality", also poetically referred to as "quantum entanglement". The Danish physicist Niels Bohr discovered that once subatomic particles such as electrons or photons are in contact, they remain cognizant of and influenced by each other instantaneously over any distance forever...Albert Eistein refused to accept nonlocality, referring to it disparagingly as "spooky action at a distance". (pg. 8).

In my life, I have experienced times where I seem to be connected to another person, even when they are hundreds or thousands of miles away. For example: several years ago, a coworker friend came to mind on a Saturday at 3 pm. I got the impression that he was having a health problem, that something small in his abdomen was giving him problems. I also felt queasy like I ate something greasy. On Tuesday, about 2:30 I got the same thing again. Wednesday, I was back in the office and he wasn't there. Someone mentioned that he was ill, so I called him to find out how he was doing. He said he was away over the weekend (about 300 miles away) and on Saturday about 3 pm he had severe stomach problems. He went to the emergency room, where they diagnosed that he was having problems with his gall bladder, and had another attack on Tuesday about 2:30 pm.

I have had many experiences like this over the years, and this is one of the clearest examples of what I experienced. Reading this book has given me insight on those experiences, at the level of quantum physics.

In all this reading and for most of my life, I have been putting together patterns. I envision a large circle that I am traveling counter clockwise. On this circle are many things - Buddhism, Hinduism, Catholicism, brain physiology and research, psychology, medicine, emotional intelligence, adult development, business and commerce, organizational development, heart coherence (Heartmath), yoga, medical intuition, energy healing, chakras, Reiki, Qigong, gnosis, "New Age" spirituality, meditation, mystics, shamanism, intention, relationships, past life regression, quantum physics, statistics and mathematics, music theory, time/space continuum, psychic energy, auras... the list could go on.

The only thing I seem to be missing is "Rolfing". ;-)

I call this the "everything is everything" model. My journey has been traveling this circle and making deeper and deeper revolutions, like a spiral. At the heart of all of this are several core concepts:

• Energy is the fundamental link to all of them
• Love and compassion (i.e., love in motion) are the purest forms of energy
• Everything, at the atomic level, is "alive", and we as energetic human beings, participate fully in that life
• We are creators and at the same time, we are equal to all life forms - we have a role to play, just as every creature and element has a role
• There is an order that we impose on our reality
  
• What we experience as reality is only one form of reality, there are many more available to us, including life before we arrive here and after (to whence we came)
  
• We are pure energy that slows down our vibration to appear in solid form; the less dense and higher vibration we experience in our emotion, the fuller our experience is of life
  
• We really are all One
  

Everything else in each one of these areas plays off of these central themes in various forms, once you dig to the "truth" at the core of each one. At an energetic level, never underestimate the impact that you have on others and this world.

Isn't this a sweet life?

Okay, I am off to the gym to manage that "butt expansion program" and expend a little energy that way for a while.

With immense love and gratitude.... Have an awesome day! Mj

XOXO

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Interesting Steps in Evolution

I have been quiet lately, and have had an interesting journey for the last two weeks. Several things happened:

• My husband and I attended a couples weekend retreat called Refreshing Relationships in Encinitas, CA.
• I have been reading the book "Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain" by Sharon Begley
• My husband and I have been looking at an investment for a school in Encinitas, CA
• I have been listening to the audio book "Energy Anatomy" by Caroline Myss
  

The couples weekend was outstanding. We learned a lot about ourselves and our relationship, especially the deep connection that we have for each other. Our connection is on a soul level, and our devotion to each other is deep. We look forward to continuing the work that we started in this weekend!

While we were in San Diego, we were looking at a new school called New World Leadership. The foundation is using the Montessori method, and also adds other important elements:

• A development program for Guardians (parents, caretakers), Elders (teachers, other leaders) and Children. Each of these groups are carefully selected and aligned to support the full environment of the child using common language and philosophy.
  
• This program also has a spiritual component, where all involved with the child are aligned to recognize and realize the Divine nature of the child as well as express their own Divine nature. Originally, the Montessori method had this ideal in the original design on the curriculum, but the fulfillment and expression of this philosophy was ahead of its time.

This project with the school has been an interesting spiritual journey for us. We are definitely excited that we can make a difference with others. And, our beliefs about money have been coming out into the open (yes, our investments are down, just like many others in this economy). I have been very present to when my "old tapes" have been sneaking in, although I wish that I could say that I have been better about managing them in the moment. I have been reading / listening to two books that have greatly influenced my thinking this week and helping me increasingly recognize the "old tapes".

The book "Train Your Brain, Change Your Mind" is a fascinating account of the ongoing dialogues between neuroscientists and the Dalai Lama (well, fascinating for me :-D). The book begins by giving an account of the ruling dogma of the day: that the brain we were born with is all that we have to work with. Recent advances have shown that we have lots of opportunity to shape our brain.

The book starts with animal research, moves on to discuss work with children and adolescents, and ends with research during the adult years. The chapters on childhood and adolescence really hit home for me, and helped to solidify my commitment to the New World Leadership school and the importance of a positive early childhood environment. And, one of my old childhood tapes crept in there, too. I recognized it, honored my feelings in the moment and let it go.

It is toward the latter part of the book that Buddhist philosophy begins to weave more strongly into the commentary. The Dalai Lama asked a simple question: is the mind separate from the brain? Early attempts to answer this question were rebuffed by the neuroscientists, yet he persisted. It is a vital question, and science has advanced to answer this. For a long time, scientists believed that brain structure rules our cognition, and everything that we think, feel and do must come from our brain neural network. To Buddhists, intention is a quality of the mind, and can shape our brain structure over time with attention and focus. Through some fascinating studies with expert meditators (adepts and monks), they have been able to demonstrate that we can, in fact, shape our brains. Indeed, we truly have choice!

The implications are vast. The mind is intended to be balanced between the left (logic, linear) and right (creativity, emotion). We sometimes act as if we are victims of our brain and impulses (actor), and the "mind", the seat of our true self and our intention, is an observer. By shaping our thoughts and awareness, our brains will respond. This is where traditional philosophical traditions such as Buddhism and Hindu yoga, "New Age" spiritualism and mysticism, positive psychology and other belief systems are increasingly being supported by science.

I am also beginning to believe that the heart is a critical component of the mind, and in fact, the "mind" may really be the brain and heart working together. Heartmath has done extensive research in this area for many years. When I said "yes" to my husband's wedding vows during our weekend, it was my mind, my heart and my soul that were involved. It was not just a "brain" activity (thank goodness!)

Saying "yes" to working with the school is a commitment that is well beyond spreadsheets and logistics. It is a spiritual test in that we are saying yes on many levels. "Energy Anatomy" has been helping me to deeply explore the different levels of my commitment. What I like about this lecture series is that Caroline Myss spends a lot of time describing the seven chakras (seven energy centers that we all have in our body) and each stage of evolution as we mature through the focus on each chakra. Time and again, the seven chakra centers are important guideposts in my own journey. As I was listening to each stage, I could see parallels in my own commitment with the school and this was very helpful.

It is amazing how the stages of evolution through the chakras parallels the adult development stages of growth. Well, I guess that shouldn't be surprising after all ;-).

I am sure the weeks and months ahead will bring more situations where I can measure and evaluate my levels of mastery and the progress of my evolution. And for that I am eternally grateful...

All the best! Love, Mj

PS - I have added a "resources" tab to my website www.makechangepositive.com. Check back often, I am keeping a list of the many resources that I am using on this journey, and some commentary on "Why I Like". Enjoy!

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I'm Amazed

I am on a flight tonight and watching the takeoff. I have flown over a million miles and am still amazed that an object that weighs over a ton carrying over 200 people can lift off the ground. I know there are things like thrust and lift involved, blah blah blah. Those are just words to me. We go fast and we go up. Amazing!

I am sitting in a window seat and I was watching the plane move through the air. I remembered years ago when I used to take equestrian lessons. I often road a horse named D Jay and we had a special chemistry. Sometimes we would become one during our rides together. My legs ceased to exist, and his legs became my legs. I could feel his joy in the bob of his head, his every move as he pranced in the soft earth.

I decided to try an experiment. I am sitting over the wings. I planted my feet on the floor and stretched to feel the wings. I could feel their immense expanse as we lifted from the ground and softly banked to the right. I could feel the captain imperceptively lean to the right as he nudged the controls, gently steering our path.

As we tilted to the right, I could see a blanket of stars above. I wondered if the pilots were grateful for this display on these evening flights. A few weeks ago, I was flying at sundown. For over 30 minutes, I could not help but stare at the grand scene before me. The dark of night slowly crept in as the sun relinquished its hold on the day by painting the sky with shades of yellow, orange, red and soft violet.

Nature puts on a great show, eh?

With much love and gratitude for this glorious day, Mj

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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Family Matters In the Moment

This past week I have been delving into brain wave research and reading "A New Earth" by Eckert Tolle and "Walking Between the Worlds" by Gregg Braden. More on this later, there is quite a lot of fascinating content that is relevant to my sabbatical. As I integrate more, I will share. Really cool stuff.

What I did want to blog about is that we have a family situation going on right now. In families, we have often have expectations that we are involved with each other, we are heart connected and that we share a long history. We have a situation right now that in some ways has a long history.

While I was on the phone with my siblings yesterday, I used a device called emWave from Heartmath. This device measures how well I can stay heart centered. Why is this important? I want to be loving and supportive. I want to stay centered and heart connected, but unattached from drama. I want to be able to think and feel clearly to help develop long lasting solutions. It feels like a fine line to walk for me right now. Years ago, drama meant love.

A lot of this sabbatical is my learning is to stay present in the moment. Because we have a long history together, I realized how much we were bringing the past into the present moment. There is a difference from remembering the past and acting out the present moment as if it were the past - in other words, "playing old tapes". Remembering the past can provide information (some useful, some not), whereas playing old tapes will bring the old emotion into the moment, too.

Was I successful? Not 100%, but certainly much better than I have done this in the past. It is so dang tempting to slip into old behaviors. :-) I was much more likely to recognize what I was doing or about to do, and shift in the moment. I also noticed that my siblings were shifting, too.

Are the answers any clearer? No, there are still difficult choices ahead. What is different is that I can see that all of us - myself and my siblings - are becoming more centered in the present moment. We would have zero chance of truly creating change if we continued to live from the past. Each of us is ready for change in our own way. By staying present with each other, we take advantage of opportunities to deepen our bonds with each other, and we are. It is in this way that family expectations become wonderful blessings.

Family does matter - in the moment.

With much love and gratitude to all my family for traveling this journey together, XOXO

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I Love Our Life

Today was one of those days that I will remember for a long time. I live within view of the ocean, and I often sit and watch the sunrise while I write my morning pages. Lately, I can feel the ocean. Yesterday, as we were leaving our town, I could feel the energy of the ocean slip away.

Today, it was nearly 50 degrees and sunny. I walked to the water and sat for about 30 minutes. I absorbed every detail of the scene through my eyes, my ears and my skin. The water was a deep blue, and was cresting as many as five waves at a time. My breath and my heart were synchronized to the pulse of the waves. The sound was deafening, especially to these ears that are so tuned to complete silence. I could see the curve of the earth in the distance. The smell of the salt air helped me remember why I love living here. A small white boat silently and lazily chugged across the waves to the entrance of the river. It was so peaceful and was truly paradise. I could have sat there for hours.

I walked to the boardwalk and finished my walk. Normally in the winter, there are one or two people on each block. Today, everyone came out to play and the smiles were from ear to ear. I live in a town that is 55,000 during July and August, and only 5000 during the other months of the year. During the winter, we all know that we belong here and it is like living in Mayberry. The pace is slower, the small talk is friendly and there is a levity that reigns over everything. People who live on the beach all year are connected to nature.

I am looking forward to taking long walks on the boardwalk with my husband, my soulmate. He had some injections in his knee and is able to walk longer distances. I look forward to the weekends that we share these moments together, hand in hand.

Time for me to fix dinner and enjoy a quiet and peaceful end to this day!

With much love and gratitude, Mj

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